I've come to realize that some people are just not able, for whatever reason, to be a good friend (I know I'm not perfect, so I'm not trying to judge--this person may be an excellent friend to other people).
Just unloaded a one sided "friendship". Ties cut (and not by me); a weight has been lifted.
When the only reason I would hear from this person (I will refer to her as "K") is to get me to do something for her and the only time K responds to me is if I offer to do something for her, then it is not a good match. I would invite K over for the kids to play but she would only come if she was able to bring laundry to do.....hmm. When I would suggest we go somewhere fun to take the kids, she would never respond. We did have some good times, our kids got along, and several times we spent a few hours just talking--so it was not all bad times. The final event was at a girls night with several other ladies. K was blunt and rude about something that I have already expressed to her that I've prayed and fasted extensively about, but her bias toward the issue made her very much NOT open minded and her comments hurt. I tried to be upfront to K about it--that she offended me (and added some reasons why I thought she was being biased)......then she cuts all ties.....um okay, problem solved.
I truly hope the best for K in the future and hope she can learn how to be a better friend, I know I have learned a lot.
Funny side note. Right about the time I met K she had a friendship end where she was the one being taken advantage of (or so she said). K's "bad friend" would ask K to watch her kid (which she only did once), but would never reciprocate, she wouldn't acknowledge K at church when K would say hello in passing, and she would follow her husband around at church functions that had lots of people (I have a feeling she's just socially awkward). I think that's about it--but K blew it WAY out of proportion. What's funny is that K tried to be upfront about it to the person (which was the reason I was so upfront to her, since I'm not normally like that)--but K did it in a horrible--taking it too far--kind of way. K blasted her over the phone. This persons husband would call K's husband to try to diffuse the situation and K would only belittle her that she can't stand up for herself. K spoke horribly about this person to anyone who would listen (including me obviously). Then on the day they were moving away, K ended up making her "bad friend" a BOOK and leaving it on her doorstep--something like: proper etiquette and behavior. OH MY GOODNESS! Who does that?
Derek calls her a ticking time bomb and says he never wanted me to be friends with her to begin with. I was joking with Derek after I confronted K and never got a response back that maybe I should write HER a book. Haha--FYI, I would never do that. In the message I sent to K, I even said that I figured she likes people to be upfront with her about things (since she was VERY upfront to her "bad friend")....but when I got no response and she cut all ties with me I inferred that she doesn't like that. As the saying goes: she can dish it but not take it. (hope she can have some perspective to how her "bad friend" felt--and I didn't do anything remotely horrible to her).
She has LOTS of family issues and she definitely has troubles that she needs to work through. Again, I am NOT perfect and am not trying to judge her--I have issues of my own and am definitely not a perfect friend. I do hope she is able to work her things out. She has been in counseling for issues with her husband, but I hope she can get some of her other issues worked through also.
Final note: Friendship over. And I'm not really sad about it, just confused. This has lead me to look back over our friendship and see that it was very one sided, so I'm going to chalk it up to being for the best. Everything is a learning experience, I have definitely learned from this and can move on.
However, this does make me grateful for transient people (meaning she will for sure move from the apt they are currently at and I will never have to see her again).
Thanks for the listening ears.
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